I was not forced to do it, I did not forced him too to do it at the first point. we did that maybe because of chance or the moment is inviting. We didn’t even planed it.
I had pregnancy test not only one or two. I had 6 pregnancy tests all two lines… all positive… my heart beats beyond normal my hands and toes get cold. I go up and down stairs looking for what to do, where to keep the PT slides. Till I found myself seated on the stairs thinking what to do. I first texted ghian and ange we meet also that night.
I really had a hard time to accept cause I think it’s not time yet, I’m not ready the man either and my family.im too young I have things in mind that I want to do, to go ... My family are expecting of me. It should be easy or smooth if the man is responsible enough to make it up to me. But things happened fast were dragged day by day.
I just let him knew my situation and let him plan or do something about it. But days just come and go. Im not rushing him but my tummy gets bigger and bigger I have no escape from mama’s suspicion.
Until he made a father-like concerned msg. that he’ll support me in all he can. But that’s the last msg. I tried to communicate but there’s no use, I realized that there is no point of waiting making myself gago that he’ll make it up to me. He’s old enough man I thought. I decided to just face it alone. I don’t want to end up to someone who doesn’t even care about his self.
Initially it’s really hard in so many aspects. First I’m on the first trimester, morning sickness that should only be in the morning but I experienced it the whole day vomiting, nausea every after meal. I want to eat but my taste buds are not aligned with me. I easily get tired. Its really hard cause I work at the same time. I can’t sleep at night I feel alone. Especially when my parents are not aware yet. It occupies my mind every second. I think of what to do etc. etc. I spent many evenings alone, worrying about if the move had been the right decision for me? Perhaps it would have been better if I waited longer. I often thought. All these things have happened but what finally tore’s it was that things stopped working and nobody wants to be a repairman.
dec. 08,
Too early to buy clothes for the baby, I don’t even know yet if his or her but the penny comes early. I don’t want to keep it first till I knew the baby’s gender; holidays are so close Christmas and New Year. Impulsive I always admit. I’m expecting also on January but not as much as I received now from my 13th month.
I inform my parents that I’m planning to already buy clothes for the baby. Same reactions too early blah blah@!?~...
I waited mama, she and my sister went to the doctor for my sister’s check-up.so we left the house after lunch but they need to come back 6pm to the clinic the surgeon needs to see her. We went to Makati che told me it’s cheaper at landmark but before we get there we first look at SM on the way to landmark it’s cheap, the prize is cool =I, we went and look also in glorietta more cool than SM the quality is nice infairness. But mama claims that it should only till 3months old clothes, the growth is too fast every after 3months it changes clothes t.
At the landmark we first saw infants clothes I feel awkward cause I’m not looking or buying clothes for myself but for the baby, I don’t feel sad I felt old cause priorities are set no choice ,but to deal with it. But I’m trying to find cool things, I need to stretch about it. When I saw the clothes my excitement for the baby to come out gets doubled. We choose plain colors and designs, each 6pieces long sleeves, shirts, shorts, pants, bigkis, socks, gloves. I brought also comforters and pillows, alcohol, soaps etc.etc. the damage costs me like two new branded shoes… pff… I also brought my youngest brother johnjohn clothes my Christmas presence for him. Before when im not yet pregnant enjoying singlehood days, I never planned to have a baby but in the event like this I have no choice but to be responsible for what I did. I thought johnjohn could be not only my youngest cute brother but my bedmate/dinner mate/baby/enemy etc. source of lunatic activities.
430pm were finished we decided to eat first before we separate ways. We ate at KFC funny cause it was mama’s request she wants to eat the what she call “toasted” but she’s not sure she’s figuring it was like pizza and chicken wrapped, were laughing cause its twister not toasted but she’s right its pizza and fried chicken rolled into one wrapped like and to eat like shawarma, yummy!. After that mama and sister went back to the clinic, johnjohn and I went home. Tiring yet unexpectedly heart melting my family supports me all the way.
No comments:
Post a Comment